Bismillaah il-Rahmaan il-Raheem
In the Name of Allaah, Most Gracious, Most Merciful
All praise be to Allaah, we praise Him and seek His help and forgiveness. We seek refuge with Allaah from the evil of our own selves and from our evil deeds. Whomsoever Allaah guides, no one can lead astray, and whomsoever Allaah leaves astray, no one can guide. I bear witness that there is no god but Allaah Alone, with no partner or associate, and I bear witness that Muhammad is His slave and Messenger.
The home is a blessing.
Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): “And Allaah has made for you in your homes an abode…” [al-Nahl 16:80]
Ibn Katheer (may Allaah have mercy on him) said: “Here Allaah, may He be blessed and exalted, is mentioning His complete blessing to His slaves: He has given them homes which are a peaceful abode for them, to which they retreat as a haven which covers them and gives them all kinds of benefits.”
What does the home represent to each one of us? Is it not the place where he eats, enjoys intimacy with his wife, sleeps and rests? Is it not the place where he can be alone and can meet with his wife and children?
Is the home not the place that offers cover and protection to women? Allaah tells us (interpretation of the meaning): “And stay in your houses, and do not display yourselves like that of the times of ignorance…” [al-Ahzaab 33:33]
If you think about those who are homeless, who live in shelters, or on the streets, or as refugees scattered in temporary camps, then you will realize the blessing of having a home. If you listen to a distressed homeless person saying, “I have nowhere to settle, no fixed place to stay. Sometimes I sleep in so and so’s house, sometimes in a café or park or on the sea-front, and I keep my clothes in my car”, then you will realize the disruption that results from not having the blessing of a home.
When Allaah punished the Jews of Banu Nadeer, He took away this blessing and expelled them from their homes, as He said (interpretation of the meaning): “He it is Who drove out the disbelievers among the people of the Scripture (i.e. the Jews of the tribe of Banu al-Nadeer) from their homes at the first gathering.” Then He said: “… they destroyed their own dwellings with their own hands and the hands of the believers. Then take admonition, O you with eyes (to see).” [al-Hashr 59:2].
There are many motives for the believer to pay attention to putting his house in order.
Firstly: protecting himself and his family from the Fire of Hell, and keeping them safe from the burning punishment: “O you who believe! Ward off from yourselves and your families a Fire (Hell) whose fuel is men and stones, over which are (appointed) angels stern (and) severe, who disobey not, (from executing) the Commands they receive from Allaah, but do that which they are commanded.” [al-Tahreem 66:6 – interpretation of the meaning].
Secondly: the great responsibility borne by the head of the household on the Day of Reckoning.
The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Allaah will ask every shepherd (or responsible person) about his flock (those for whom he was responsible), whether he took care of it or neglected it, until He asks a man about his household.”
Thirdly: the home is a place to protect oneself, to keep away from evil and to keep one's own evil away from people. It is the refuge prescribed by Islam at times of fitnah (strife, tribulation).
The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Blessed is the one who controls his tongue, whose house is sufficient for him, and who weeps over his mistakes.”
The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “There are five things, whoever does one of them, Allaah will be with him: visiting the sick, going out for jihaad, entering upon his leader with the intention of rebuking and respecting him , or sitting in his home so that the people are safe from him and he is safe from the people.”
The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “The safety of a man at times of fitnah is in his staying home.”
The Muslim can see the benefit of this advice when he is residing in a foreign land where he is unable to change much of the evil around him. Then he will have a refuge which, when he enters it, will protect him from doing haraam things or looking at haraam things, and will protect his wife from wanton display and unveiling, and will protect his children from bad company.
Fourthly: people usually spend most of their time at home, especially when it is very hot or very cold, when it is raining, early or late in the day, and after finishing work or school, so this time should be spent in worship and halaal pursuits, otherwise it will be spent in wrongdoing.
Fifthly and most importantly, paying attention to the home is the most important means of building a Muslim society, because the society is formed of the households and families that form its building blocks. Households form neighbourhoods, and neighbourhoods form societies. If the building blocks are sound, the society will be based on the laws of Allaah, standing firm in the face of enemies and filled with goodness that evil cannot penetrate. Then Muslim homes will produce pillars of society who will reform and guide it aright, such as exemplary dai’yahs, seekers of knowledge, sincere mujaahideen, righteous wives, caring mothers and all other types of reformers.
Because this subject is so important, and our homes are full of so many shortcomings and evils and examples of negligence, this begs the very important question:
What are the means of reforming our homes?
The following contains advice on this topic. May Allaah benefit us from it, and cause the Muslims to focus their efforts on reviving the Muslim home.
All the following advice revolves around two things: achieving our interests, which is by establishing that which is right and good, and warding off evil, by removing that which can cause it or bring it into our homes.
(1) Making a good choice when choosing a wife
“And marry those among you who are single (i.e., a man who has no wife and a woman who has no husband) and (also marry) the saalihoon (pious, fit and capable ones) of your (male) slaves and maid-servants (female slaves). If they be poor, Allaah will enrich them out of His Bounty. And Allaah is All-Sufficient for His creatures’ needs, All-Knowing (about the state of the people).” [al-Noor 24:32 – interpretation of the meaning].
(2) Striving to guide one’s wife(3) Making the home a place for the remembrance of Allaah
(4) Make your homes a qiblah
(5) Spiritual training for the members of the household
(6) Paying attention to adhkaar and Sunnah du’aa’s that have to do with the home
(7) Continuously reciting Soorat al-Baqarah in the house to ward off the Shaytaan
(8)Teaching the family
(9)Start building an Islamic “library” in your home
(10)Home audio library
(11) Inviting good and righteous people and seekers of knowledge to visit the home.
(12) Learning the Islamic rulings with regard to houses.
(13) Creating opportunities for meetings to discuss family matters.
(14) Not showing family conflicts in front of the children.
(15) Not letting into the house anyone whose commitment to Islam is not pleasing to you.
(16) Taking careful note of what family members are up to.
(17) Paying attention to children at home.
(18) Being strict in adhering to a schedule for meals and bedtime.
(19) Re-evaluating women’s work outside the home.
(20) Confidentiality: keeping family secrets.
(21) Spreading kindness in the home.
(22) Helping one’s wife with the housework.
(23) Being affectionate towards and joking with the members of the family.
(24) Resisting bad manners in the home.
(25) “Hang up the whip where the members of the household can see it.”
(26) Beware of non-mahrem relatives entering upon women when their husbands are absent.
(27) Men and women should sit separately during family visits.
(28) Be aware of the dangers of having male drivers and female servants in the house.
(29) Kick immoral people out of your houses.
(30) Beware of the dangers of TV.
(31) Beware of the evils of the telephone.
(32) You have to remove everything that contains symbols of the false religions of the kuffaar or their gods and objects of worship.
(33) Removing pictures of animate beings.
(34) Do not allow smoking in your homes.
(35) Do not keep dogs in your homes.
(36) Avoid too much decoration in your homes (keep it simple).
(37) Choosing a good location and design of home.
(38) Choosing the neighbour before the house.
(39) Paying attention to necessary repairs in the home, and making sure that the amenities are in good working order.
(40) Paying attention to the family’s health and safety procedures.
